Your child can’t find their backpack and the school bus is here already. Wait, they found it. But where’s their homework and the permission slip for that field trip? Oh no, Dad misplaced his wallet and keys — again. Ten minutes later, he’s still searching. Now he’ll be late for work.

Does this sound familiar? Few things cause more strife in a household than clutter and disorganization. When a home is messy, and things are hard to find, it can make everyone feel stressed. Families touched by ADHD can thank weak execution function skills for this all-too-common scenario.

And here’s what can add another layer of conflict: When only some family members have ADHD and struggle to keep things organized and tidy, and others in the household are the opposite — and neat. ADHD or not, you can take control of your surroundings and optimize your spaces with our decluttering techniques and efficient storage solutions. We will bring harmony back to your newly organized and functional environment.

In the webinar, you will learn:

• About the common struggles families face when only some in the household have ADHD, and the conflict that ensues when all family members have ADHD
• About techniques to help kids and parents get started on their goal to become organized and create spaces to put things where they belong
• How having less stuff is key to being organized, and the techniques to help you decide what to keep and what to toss
• How to compromise and bring harmony back to your household

We will also tackle readers’ real-life situations, as well as recount my own experience as a professional organizer who is married to a very lovely but very messy man.

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

How to Organize a Messy Home with ADHD: More Resources

• Free Guide: Hoarding Disorder vs. ADHD Clutter
• Q&A: “Should I Hire a Professional Organizer?”
• Read: How to Motivate for Cleaning House When You Really Don’t Want To
• eBook: Declutter Your Life (and Home! and Office!)

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on September 10, 2024, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Tracy McCubbin has always lived by the motto, “Don’t put it down, put it away.” But who knew she could turn that philosophy into a booming business? While working for a major television director in Hollywood, Tracy discovered she had the ability to see through any mess and clearly envision a clutter-free space. Coupled with her keen time management and organizational skills, Tracy soon found fulfillment in helping people discover real solutions by getting to the root of their clutter. That’s when dClutterfly was born.

Almost two decades and thousands of decluttered homes later, Tracy knew it was time to take what she had learned working with her clients to help others around the world dealing with clutter. She authored two best-selling books: Making Space, Clutter-Free: The Last Book on Decluttering You’ll Ever Need and Make Space for Happiness: How to Stop Attracting Clutter and Magnetizing the Life You Want, bringing the beauty of organizing to homes everywhere. (#CommissionsEarned)

Tracy is also a regularly featured expert in The New York Times, Forbes, goop, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Yahoo News, CBS, NBC, FOX, Real Simple, and more.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Listener Testimonials

“I have heard Tracy before, and I think about what she says when I stare at boxes or piles. I have made small improvements. This motivated me to make a plan again and move forward.”

“Thank you SO much! I’m 74 and still trying. Best takeaways: If you’re keeping it because you’re afraid it’s going to the landfill, your home is the landfill; and keep putting it away in the same place, like your toothbrush, and you will eventually always know where it belongs.”

“This seminar really made me reflect on how I have improved my skills regarding decluttering. I remember years ago when I used to ‘shut down’ whenever the time came to get rid of things. Now, I do things differently, and I feel pretty good about these changes in myself.”

Webinar Sponsor

The sponsor of this ADDitude webinar is…

Play Attention: Boost Brainpower and Regain Control. Overwhelmed by daily chaos? ADHD can make managing family life challenging, but there’s a solution. Play Attention’s personalized program is designed to help parents and kids alike improve executive function, focus, and organization. Our NASA-inspired technology, backed by research from Tufts University School of Medicine, helps you develop cognitive control to enhance organization, regulate emotions, and improve productivity, creating a calmer, more structured family life.

Ready to turn the mess into success? Take our ADHD test or schedule a consultation to kickstart your journey to sharper focus and a better quality of life with Play Attention. Call 828-676-2240 or visit www.playattention.com.

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

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Arguing and pleading with your student will not work. Giving them a voice in the process of prioritizing tasks and managing time will be more effective. To help build your child’s executive function skills, follow these steps.

1. Be a model.

Show your child how to plan and prioritize by working on a fun task together. For example, plan a trip to the ice cream shop: Walk or take the car, choose the route, take money with you, decide what flavor you want, and place the order. Model the planning of a desirable task so your child can see it in action and engage in the process.

[Get This Free Checklist: Common Executive Function Challenges — and Solutions]

2. Let your child plan.

Have your child plan an activity, breaking down all the steps from start to finish, and estimating how much time each step will take. Time estimation is an important life skill that seldom comes easily. At home and in the classroom, challenge your child to write down how long they think it will take to do various tasks and then record how long it actually takes.

3. Anticipate roadblocks.

As we teach children to plan, we must also help them to anticipate roadblocks that may interfere with their schedule. College students, I observed, would often plan to get to class with just enough time to print out an assignment, only to find that the network was down.

4. Apply the Premack Principle.

When students prefer one important task over another, use the Premack Principle: Have your student do the less preferred activity first to increase the odds that they’ll finish it to get to the preferred activity.

Here are other proven strategies for getting things done in class and at home:

[Read: How to Stack Habits to Improve Executive Functioning]

• Productivity gurus agree that the Eisenhower Matrix is a simple yet powerful way to set priorities and to focus your time and energy on what matters most. The matrix is divided into four quadrants according to two attributes: urgency and importance. Finishing a big work presentation for your boss that’s due tomorrow is both highly urgent and highly important. Washing your car is neither. Assigning each task to a quadrant helps students break up their to-do lists and truly see priorities.
• Getting started is often the hardest part of any assignment. The parent or educator can do the first step or two with a student, then have them continue the work alone. You can also alternate steps: the adult does one step, then the child does one, and so on.
• Play “beat the clock,” a game that can kickstart students with and without ADHD. One of my students would procrastinate by putting his head down on the desk. I learned to say, “Andrew, I bet that this will take you 10 minutes to do.” Guess what? He would get it done in five minutes to prove me wrong. This strategy may, however, be too stressful for students who have anxiety.
• Buddy systems, or doing a task with another person, can help motivate a student and keep them accountable.
• Charts and self-monitoring help students see their progress when completing a task with multiple parts. Crossing off items gives everyone a feeling of accomplishment.

How to Prioritize: Next Steps

• Free Download: The Eisenhower Matrix for Prioritization
• Read: The Educator’s Guide to Executive Functions
• Read: Be on Time! Teaching Sequence and Schedules

Beverley Holden Johns is an author and learning and behavior consultant. She has worked with students with learning differences for more than 30 years.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Each Fall, many families dive headfirst into big ideas for doing things differently in the new school year… only to see those hopes and ambitions unravel before Halloween. Kids get out of bed grumpily, arrive late to school, struggle to do homework, and fight about their chores. The constant cycle of arguments, reminders, and stress leaves everybody frustrated and unhappy. What if you could nurture cooperation and accountability in your family instead? You can — by learning how to begin this school year with practical tools for a smooth transition.

In this webinar, Dr. Sharon Saline will show you how to change self-defeating cycles by improving key executive functioning skills related to productivity for students. Many children and teens with ADHD become so easily frustrated or overwhelmed that they cannot engage in the organizational tools that would help them. Beginning with methods for understanding and managing time, Dr. Saline shows you how to collaboratively teach realistic planning and effective prioritizing. When kids know how to realistically assess the amount of time they need for an activity, and then arrange tasks according to urgency, importance, and level of difficulty, they develop the independence needed for success at school and at home.

In addition to our standard question-and-answer period, we’ve added a live “Solve My Problem” portion of the webinar where Dr. Saline will address three specific scenarios submitted by ADDitude readers during the webinar registration process. You will leave this webinar with a set of practical strategies and solutions to use right away!

In this webinar, caregivers and educators will learn how to:

• Identify the executive functioning skills that affect productivity, organization, and follow-through
• Use tools for improving time management, planning, and prioritizing
• Develop strategies for effective decision-making that reduce stress and negativity
• Create effective routines with meaningful incentives that foster performance and goal-directed persistence
• Increase cooperation and reduce pushback for challenging tasks

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Time Blindness & Executive Function in ADHD Students: More Resources

• Sign Up: ADHD @ School: A Free Class for Parents
• Read: Prioritize & Organize With These Planner Pointers
  
• Read: Activity Ideas to Hone Brain Skills
  
• Read: Teaching Sequence and Schedules
• eBook: A Parent’s Guide to Effective Routines
  

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on August 28, 2024, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life and The ADHD Solution Deck, specializes in working with children, teens, emerging adults and families living with ADHD, anxiety, learning disabilities, autism, twice exceptionalism, and mental health issues. (#CommissionsEarned) She lectures and facilitates workshops internationally on topics such as understanding ADHD, executive functioning, anxiety, motivation, different kinds of learners, and the teen brain. Dr. Saline is a regular contributor to ADDitudemag.com, among many other leading publications.

Learn more at www.drsharonsaline.com.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Listener Testimonials

“This will really complement my work as a Children’s Wellbeing Practitioner as well as help my family.”

“Dr. Saline is outstanding! Thank you so much. From a family with a momma with ADHD and 2 daughters — a teen and a tween!”

“Exceptionally helpful and uplifting discussion. Thank you for all that you do, Dr. Saline and ADDitude Magazine team!”

Follow ADDitude’s full ADHD Experts Podcast in your podcasts app:
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Hi Concerned Parent:

Teaching life skills is crucial to helping teens with ADHD — actually, all teens — become responsible and self-sufficient individuals. While you may not be able to afford an ADHD coach or outside resources, there are plenty of steps you can take to support your son.

Here are a few thoughtful ideas to help you get started.

Life Skills 101

1. Are You Doing Things Your Son Can Do on His Own?

Be honest with yourself. If so, it’s time to take stock and let go. Swooping in and taking over isn’t doing your son any favors.

While you may feel like you’re helping, you may also be sending him a clear message that he’s incapable. The more our kids hear or think that, the less likely they will rise to the occasion to take care of stuff independently.

[Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

I’m not saying this to make you feel bad or, worse, feel like a terrible parent. That could not be further from the truth. As parents, we’re natural fixers and problem solvers. If we’re honest with ourselves, sometimes it’s easier and faster to do things ourselves. It takes a lot of patience and persistence to take a step back so our children can take a step forward. But it’s paramount for their future success.

Tip within a tip: Start letting go of anything you do for him with minimal stakes. Pinpoint certain chores or responsibilities that don’t affect anyone else in your home if they’re not completed or finished “on time.” Having your son be responsible for his own laundry or cleaning his bedroom are perfect examples of “low stakes” responsibilities.

2. Who Is Ultimately Responsible?

Does he get out of bed on his own in the morning? Check! Does he get to school on time with minimal prompting? Check!

Think about it: If everyone around him cares more than he does or works harder than he does, what is the likelihood he’ll put in the necessary work to learn the skill and take ownership of it?

[Free Download: The Executive Skills Questionnaire for Parents and Teens]

I know what you’re thinking. On the one hand, you want your son to be independent and do things on his own. On the other, you may fear that, left to his own devices, things may fall through the cracks. Well, that may very well happen. As a parenting coach, I see this emotional tug-of-war firsthand. The important thing to remember is that as long as you’re the one in charge, your son will let you be.

Please know that I’m not asking you to turn over the reins without teaching him the necessary skills to manage them. You must feel confident that he understands what’s being asked of him and knows how to do whatever is asked.

Tip within a tip: Ask your son to perform small daily tasks, such as taking out the trash or filling the dog’s water bowl. Successfully completing small tasks may boost his confidence to tackle more daunting responsibilities.

3. Does Your Son Excel at a Skill?

Here’s why this is so important. Teaching life skills doesn’t have to be boring or heavy-handed. It can be fun and light. So, if your son is a whiz at the guitar or a star baker who whips up fabulous creations in your kitchen, ask him to teach you.

During the pandemic, my son, Eli, taught my husband how to play the ukulele. He made schedules, sketched lesson plans, and even created a practice area in our home. He was using and learning organization, time management, planning, and prioritizing skills in a very organic and creative way.

My best advice is to leave the expiration date off teaching your son life skills. This will only frustrate you if you feel that time is ticking. As a parent of children who are flown and grown and a parenting coach, I feel you never stop teaching life skills to your children! Truly, this is only the beginning.

Good luck!

Life Skills for Teens: Next Steps

• Read: 5 Critical Life Skills That Build Independence & Confidence in Kids
• Read: Steps to Independence
• Download: Common Executive Function Challenges — And Solutions
• Watch: “5 Life Skills Every ADHD Young Adult Needs to Cultivate”

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

Kids are better able to focus on schoolwork when the home they live in is organized and conducive to learning. For children with ADHD, and their caregivers with ADHD, that order is easier said than achieved. It’s important to create a structured environment, with effective supports to build time management, so that messy backpacks and homework battles no longer dominate your nights.

In this webinar, Ann Dolin, M.Ed., will explain the unique challenges that parents with ADHD may face in helping their children get organized and manage their time effectively for school — and provide approaches for neurodivergent caregivers that turn chaos into calm and lead to improved academic performance.

In this webinar, you will learn about:

• Strategies for breaking down tasks into smaller, manageable steps to help parents with ADHD and their children stay on top of assignments, deadlines, and schedules
• The importance of using visual aids, like timers and calendars, to help parents with ADHD and their children stay organized and focused
• How to use strategies called the 3-to-1 Ratio and Nag-Free Zones to make after-school time more positive and productive
• How students can best communicate with the teacher to advocate for their academic needs, especially if they have a 504 Plan or IEP

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Download or Stream the Podcast Audio

Click the play button below to listen to this episode directly in your browser, click the  symbol to download to listen later, or open in your podcasts app: Apple Podcasts; Google Podcasts; Audacy; Spotify; Amazon Music; iHeartRADIO.

More on Motivating Students with ADHD

• Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement
• Read: Your Child’s 7 Executive Functions — and How to Boost Them
• Read: Same Family, Different ADHD Symptoms

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on October 10, 2023, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Ann Dolin, M.Ed., has nearly 30 years of experience working with students. She is a former public school special education teacher and author who founded Educational Connections in 1998. The company specializes in helping students, especially those with ADHD, build executive function skills and study habits to perform better in school and, ultimately, in college.

She and her team of more than 120 tutors, executive function coaches, college consultants, and parent coaches provide virtual support to families with kindergarten to college students throughout the country.

Ann is the author of Homework Made Simple: Tips, Tools, and Solutions for Stress-Free Homework and Getting Past Procrastination: How to Get Your Kids Organized, Focused and Motivated…Without Being the Bad Guy. (#CommissionsEarned) She also is past president of CHADD of Northern Virginia and is an advocate for students with ADHD.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share.

Listener Testimonials

“It was great! Loved the content and delivery.”

“I loved the practical strategies, and the Q/A at the end where she made a point to differentiate between challenges with content vs executive functioning skills to complete a task they can do!”

“I am excited to put the tools learned into practice with my family. My daughter is in 6th grade and this is the perfect time to start setting up some of the routines discussed.”

Webinar Sponsor

The sponsor of this ADDitude webinar is…

Play Attention: Backed by research conducted by Tufts University School of Medicine, Play Attention provides the most advanced NASA Inspired technology that improves executive function & self-regulation. Turn your ADHD into your Superpower! Our digital trainer will teach cognitive skills so you can improve attention, productivity, organization, and executive function. Your personal executive function coach can customize a Play Attention program for each family member. Your program will include a Personal Executive Function Coach to customize your plan along the way. Home and professional programs available. Call 828-676-2240 or click here to schedule your free 1:1 consultation! | www.playattention.com

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

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The academic potential of twice exceptional students is considerable — strong memories, large vocabularies, unusual emotional depth, divergent thinking — but coexisting conditions like ADHD can complicate learning and teaching. In class, 2e children may perform above average in some areas and below average in others. The strengths and challenges can be unpredictable, making life feel chaotic and overwhelming for some students.

Identifying students who are twice exceptional, and understanding the impact of their unique hurdles, is the first step to coping with stress and avoiding burnout.

In this webinar, 2e families and teachers will learn:

• How to work with time, structuring weeks, days, and minutes to make it less abstract to students
• How to create systems that support your child’s success
• How to recognize early signs of stress and prevent burnout

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Download or Stream the Podcast Audio

Click the play button below to listen to this episode directly in your browser, click the symbol to download to listen later, or open in your podcasts app: Apple Podcasts; Google Podcasts; Audacy; Spotify; Amazon Music; iHeartRADIO.

More on Twice Exceptionality

• Download: “An Introduction Letter to My Teacher”
• Read: What Does Twice Exceptional Even Mean?
• Read: High Expectations — Stories of 2e Students Desperately Seeking Support

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on August 17, 2023, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Mary Ruth Coleman, Ph.D., is a Senior Scientist Emeritus at the FPG Child Development Institute, UNC-Chapel Hill, where she directs Project U-STARS~PLUS (Using Science, Talents and Abilities to Recognize Students ~ Promoting Learning in Underrepresented Students).

As a child she was held back in the 3^rd grade because she could not read. She then graduated from high school early and began college at age 16. Her experiences as a student, a teacher, and researcher have been central to the support she has offered to others who are 2e.

She has numerous publications including Educating Exceptional Children, 15^th (with the late Samuel A. Kirk and James J. Gallagher) and Implementing RtI with Gifted Students with Susan Johnsen. (#CommissionsEarned)  She served three terms (9 years) on the Board of National Association for Gifted Children; two terms (6 years) on the Board of the Council for Exceptional Children; and was president of the CEC in 2007. In 2017, she was among the first group inducted into the “2e Hall of Fame.”

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Listener Testimonials

“This was the best webinar I’ve watched in a while. If I could have given it 10 stars, I would have.”

“Dr. Coleman is awesome! All educators should be so thoughtful and compassionate!”

“I found the mindful minutes strategies to be very concrete and helpful for different ages of my students.”

Follow ADDitude’s full ADHD Experts Podcast in your podcasts app:
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This is how a child with ADHD feels when told to tidy their room. (Though, to be fair, many adults with ADHD feel this way, too.) It’s a baffling, insurmountable task with no real beginning or end. After all, a room has different areas, different furniture, and lots of different ‘stuff’ strewn all around in a giant mess. It is an abstract monster!

I know how dreadful and confusing tidying can be because I was that child. I grew up the eldest of four children, and I shared a bedroom with my brother. When it was time to clean our room, we drew an imaginary line down the middle of the floor and always argued over whether it was a fair partitioning of our space. But once the borders were settled, my brother proceeded to attack his side of the room with consummate ease. In the short time it took him to finish, my mind had wandered several times to several different topics — anything from the thing I’d seen across the road from our window to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and some toys I had forgotten about that I suddenly wanted to play with.

My mind wandered because I was unable to work out where to begin tidying. Something else would always catch my attention. I’d hear plenty of complaints from my parents — if my brother could do it just fine, why couldn’t I?

Today, I’m the adult with four children. At 39, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Like most people with a late diagnosis, I went through a period of profound reflection; I finally knew what I was working with (and against), and it was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

[Get This Free Download: Organizing Strategies for Children with ADHD]

My youngest boy, 10, also has ADHD. It was his assessment process that made me sit up and take note of all his symptoms and how they mirrored my own behaviors and challenges from childhood to this day. I understood, at last, that ADHD can make things like tidying a messy room feel like battling an abstract monster. Our brains find it very hard to look at a shapeless, scary problem and break it down into manageable chunks.

How to Clean Your Room: My Guide, ADHD-Style

When I ask my boys to clean their shared room, I know what to expect from the smallest. While I don’t have all the answers, I did eventually learn this process for breaking down all kinds of abstract monsters:

• Take a piece of paper, write the abstract thing at the top (in this case, tidying the room), and draw a box around it.
• Take two minutes to think about the different facets of the abstract thing. Write those as subheadings, also in their own boxes. For tidying, I have my child pick any part of the room; the exact location or task doesn’t matter. If they’re really struggling to pick, I have them toss a pair of socks over their head — where they land is as good a place as any to begin. Coat hangers, toy cars, and dirty clothes are all good subheadings.
• Work each subheading independently. Pick up the coat hangers and put them back in the closet. Then focus on the toys. Where did those toys live before they ended up on the floor? Cool, put them back there. Then, dirty clothes — are they really dirty? Check them. If they are, put them in the wash basket. If they aren’t, put them on your newly hung-up hangers, or in a drawer.

This process doesn’t have to be perfect or even neat. It just has to help with getting started and staying on task. For my boy, I think of it as bumper rails to help him tidy his room more effectively, and with less arguing. When he gets overwhelmed, I help get him back on track with some calming words and refer him back to the above process. I can’t and won’t tidy his room for him because he will meet all manner of challenges in life that will certainly be more complicated than tidying a room. I know that helping him develop processes or coping mechanisms now will pay dividends later in his life.

[Read: The Daily Habits of Organized Kids]

So next time your kids struggle with something as “simple” as cleaning their room, take a second to remember that what you see as a straightforward task can be a scary, unwieldy project for ADHD minds. A bit of guidance in breaking down the abstract monster might be just the thing they need to succeed.

Clean Your Room with ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: The Household Chores That Work for Kids with ADHD – and Some That Don’t
• Read: How Can I Encourage My Teen to Clean and Organize His Room?
• Read: 13 Clutter Hacks for the Easily Overwhelmed

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Hi JazzyJ:

This is one of the most frequent questions parents ask me. And despite what many think, the unbudging parent-child struggle over messy bedrooms isn’t necessarily the child’s fault.

Let me explain.

When a parent asks me how to get their kids to clean and maintain their bedrooms, I lob this question back at them: Are your children’s bedrooms set up to make it easy for them to organize and maintain? Sometimes we don’t realize that our children aren’t cleaning and organizing their rooms the way we’d like because they simply can’t.

My first rule is to eliminate all roadblocks to maintaining the room. I suggest taking a tour of your sons’ bedrooms at their eye level. Literally. (Since I don’t know the ages of your boys, it’s difficult for me to give you specific guidelines.)

As you tour their bedrooms, ask yourself the following questions.

How functional are their dressers? You mentioned that they need help keeping their clothing drawers in order. Are the drawers hard to open or crammed full? Would it be easier for your sons to replace their dressers with clear, properly labeled boxes in a shelving unit or open clear bins along the wall?

[Self-Test: Does My Child Have ADHD? Symptom Test for Kids]

I have found that if we give children, especially those with ADHD and executive function challenges, organization systems that are complicated or require many steps, they are less likely to use them. Instead, use organization systems that are unfussy and streamlined. For example, tossing a t-shirt or a pair of jeans into a bin is a quick and easy way to maintain order. And the same goes for their closets. If hanging clothes on hangers is a major pain point, ditch the rod in the closet and put up hooks.

Do their bedrooms have large bins to accommodate the trash accumulating? You mentioned that shopping bags, clothing tags, and empty boxes sit in their rooms for weeks. Do their bedrooms have trash bins that are large enough to accommodate the trash that accumulates? When it’s time to clean up or organize, wastebaskets — especially large ones — are essential.

What is the most significant source of the bedroom mess? In your case, is it the shopping bags and boxes? If so, you might consider setting up an “unboxing or unbagging” station in your garage, kitchen, or wherever your household recycling and waste bins live. Instantly eliminating all the unnecessary waste from their rooms means there will be less for them to organize and manage. A win for all.

And I saved the best for last: Do they know where everything in their rooms goes? Everything in their messy bedrooms needs a home. It’s that simple: If you don’t know where something lives, it will live wherever you leave it!

[Free Download: Organizing Strategies for Children with ADHD 

And here’s some food for thought.

Kids crave independence. So, empower your boys by giving them choices whenever you can while still setting boundaries. For example, let your boys keep their closets however they want. But communal spaces, like the living room, must be clutter-free. Also, allow “clutter days.” They can have free rein over their rooms Monday through Friday, but Sunday is family clean-up day. Post the “house rules” where all can see and make sure that natural consequences are discussed and enacted consistently.

Once you establish what they can and cannot do and make everything accessible, cleaning and organizing will be much easier for your sons.

Good luck!

Messy Room with ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: The Messy Bedroom (and Backpack and Locker Cure) for Kids with ADHD
• Q: “Does My Child Really Not See Her Room as Messy?”
• Download: Common Executive Function Challenges — and Solutions
• eBook: Declutter Your Life (and Home! and Office!)

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

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Ninth grade is a big leap for kids with ADHD, whose emotional maturity and executive functioning may lag a few years behind that of their neurotypical peers. Your teen will be navigating a new school (and the stress of finding classrooms), new teachers, new peers, and more advanced classwork while undergoing hormonal changes and new social dynamics. These pressures can exacerbate ADHD symptoms or reveal related difficulties.

6 Tips for 9^th Grade

Help your teen meet the new challenges of high school with the following tips:

[Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

1. Build skills. Identify your teen’s true emotional maturity. For example, does your 8th grader relate to others on a 5th-grade level? Consider what skills will be essential in high school and what you can do together to build them. For example, you might coach your teen on how to respond to teachers and role-play the interactions so he can practice using a respectful tone. Reflecting on situations your teen has navigated successfully in middle school also builds confidence. Offer reassurance and support.
2. Get organized. Buy school supplies early, if possible, and set up a desk or a quiet place in the home for your teen to do his schoolwork. Create a routine for organizing your teen’s backpack and notebooks. Get familiar with the school’s website and apps for viewing classes, assignments, events, and grades.
3. Review accommodations. You and your teen should review his IEP or 504 Plan before school begins to ensure he has appropriate accommodations. If these supports fall short, your teen should be prepared to advocate for himself.
4. Listen up. After a tiring day of holding it together in school, your teen’s anxiety may worsen when he gets home. Be calm and accepting. Ask open-ended questions to gain insight. Create an atmosphere where your teen feels heard and can safely express his fears and concerns.
5. Work on time management. Help your teen assess the time required to complete a project or assignment. Then use time-tracking apps that let your teen set time markers for each step of a task from beginning through completion.
6. Encourage study buddies. Study groups and tutors can help lighten your teen’s memory load. Peer support and mentor programs may also help teens with ADHD navigate the social dynamics at school. Is your teen interested in tennis or swimming? Joining a sports team and pairing up with an older student on that team can foster a feeling of belonging and support.

9th Grade Readiness: Next Steps

• Learn: 50 High School Accommodations for Every ADHD Challenge
• Read: Your High School Get-It-Together Guide
• Free Download: Boost Your Teen’s Executive Functions
• Watch: High School Success: How to Prepare for the Transition from Middle to High School
• Sign Up: ADDitude’s Free Parenting Class: Everything You Need to Know About Raising a Child with ADHD 

Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC, is the author of Why Will No One Play with Me?

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Hi ProPlannerMom:

One of the most frequent questions I hear from parents is how to get their students to use a daily planner. And as an academic/life coach who works daily with students with ADHD and executive functioning challenges (as well as the creator of an academic planner that teaches time management), my answer may surprise you.

Using an academic planner is a terrific strategy for knowing what we need to do and when we have the time to do it. And that’s the critical point here. A planner is not just a tool, but rather a strategy implemented to achieve the goals of…

• seeing tasks
• planning the time to get them done
• and knowing what may get in the way.

Try not to focus on getting your daughter to use a planner. Instead, find a system or another strategy that feels right for her that allows her to see the whole picture regarding time management.

Academic Planner Possibilities

I believe we lose students when we rigidly expect them to use our time-management and planning systems without regard for what works for them. However, I also believe that every student (and adult too!) needs some planning tool to… well, plan. And a proper academic planner is a time-management tool, not just a “list keeper.” When set up correctly, it helps you see your time and to-d0s as one BIG picture, so you can see what’s ahead and plan for it.

[Get This Free Download: Solving Disorganization at School]

You mention that she doesn’t like to write things down. Maybe it’s not the act of writing down that is the problem, but the location where she is expected to do it.

What do I mean? Perhaps she’s a techie and prefers to take notes digitally. So, using the Reminders and Notes apps on her phone combined with an electronic calendar might be the perfect solution for her. Or, if she is super creative, supply her with colored paper, markers, and/or sticky notes for inspiration.

One of my student coaching clients wrote his time and tasks on paper towels for his entire junior year of high school. He liked fun and bold things, so this strategy really resonated with him. Another client found using a memo pad attached to a clipboard incredibly helpful and easy to use.

The bottom line is that I’m never a fan of pushing any organization or time-management system on anyone. We learn by organizing our time, spaces, and everything in between. Different systems work for different brain types. I’m a paper planner girl; digital simply doesn’t work for me. (I will never change, no matter how much my husband would like to sync our calendars!)

[Watch: Practical Organization and Time Management Strategies for Teens]

Daily Planner Buy-In

You asked how I get buy-in from my students with ADHD. I get buy-in by asking my student coaching clients not what they have to do today, tomorrow, or even next week, but when!

Here are a few questions to try:

• “Have you planned your time to work on that assignment?”
• “Can you show me where you have the time?
• “When do you have time to do that assignment or study for that exam?”
• “How do you know you have that time? Can you see it?”
• “Do you know what else you may have to do at that time?”
• “Can you tell me what else may get in your way?”
• “You have two tests on Friday and get home from play rehearsal on Thursday at 9 p.m. What’s your plan to study for those exams? Can you see your available time?”

I have also found great results when enlisting the help of a teacher at school. If your daughter is missing assignments, perhaps her teacher can ask her what type of planner she uses and when she says she doesn’t, she can suggest some ways to help her keep on top of her tasks and time. As you know, when the message is delivered from someone other than us, our children tend to listen with a more open mind.

Good luck!

Daily Planner for Time Management: Next Steps

• Shop: ADDitude Readers’ Favorite Planners
• Q&A: What Electronic Planners Work for Students with ADHD?
• Download: ADHD Time Assessment Chart

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Does your tween or teen seem to lack all motivation? Do they need aggressive reminders to begin tasks — especially those they’ve put off for as long as possible? Is it almost always a struggle to finish?

Many adolescents with ADHD stall out when trying to start and/or complete assignments and tasks, especially when they are no fun, boring, or challenging. ADHD-related procrastination and disorganization, combined with perfectionism and low self-esteem, can hamper their ability to complete work or remember to turn in what they have accomplished. Successfully motivating and supporting these students means following a strength-based, collaborative approach that synthesizes cognitive behavioral interventions with practical routines and mindful awareness.

In this webinar, Dr. Sharon Saline, award-winning author, international speaker and consultant, explores how to motivate teens with ADHD and offers effective strategies for offering effective support while helping them build life-long skills.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• How to identify the executive functioning skills that affect motivation
• About strategies for developing enduring time-management skills, organizational skills, and goal-directed persistence
• About effective, collaborative routines with meaningful incentives to reduce procrastination and perfectionism
• How to reduce overwhelm and anxiety by increasing confidence and resilience
• How to determine appropriate levels of parent participation in kids’ lives
• How to help tweens and teens with ADHD develop the accountability and autonomy that fosters success in school and in life

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

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Click the play button below to listen to this episode directly in your browser, click the symbol to download to listen later, or open in your podcasts app: Apple Podcasts; Google Podcasts; Stitcher; Spotify; Amazon Music; iHeartRADIO.

More on Motivating Teens with ADHD

• Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement
• Read: How Can I Make My Teen Care About School?
• Read: The Roots of ADHD Motivation Problems

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on January 11, 2023, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life (#CommissionsEarned) and The ADHD Solution Deck (#CommissionsEarned) specializes in working with children, teens, emerging adults and families living with ADHD, anxiety, learning disabilities, autism, twice exceptionality and mental health issues. Her unique perspective – as a sibling in an ADHD home, combined with decades of experience as a clinical psychologist and educator/clinician consultant – assists her in guiding families and adults towards effective communication and closer connections. She lectures and facilitates workshops internationally on topics such as understanding ADHD, executive functioning, anxiety, motivation, different kinds of learners and the teen brain. Click here to read her full bio.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

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It is essential that your son pack up his backpack the night before and leave it by — maybe even blocking — the door he exits. For things he takes every day, I suggest making a mnemonic sung to the tune of “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” but modified to his items. So it could be: “Lunch, homework, keys, and phone.” Of course, this doesn’t address one-time items, such as permission slips, or weekly items, like gym shoes and musical instruments.

Weekly and regular routines can go on a large weekday matrix that is hung by the door, so he knows on Tuesday night to pack his shoes for gym on Wednesday. One-time items can be jotted on a neon Post-It or noted on a phone with a reminder text or a memo, whichever is most convenient and effective for him at the moment. His most valuable tool, however, is you.

[Read: The Messy Student’s Guide to Order]

It may take a month to get him in the habit of packing up the night before, checking the matrix and reminder notes, and placing everything in front of the door. You should be there in the morning to “run the tune.” A good month of this should make it a habit. You might not completely eliminate your trips to the school, but they should become fewer. And best of all, Mom, you will have taught him a valuable organizing system that he can use for the rest of his life.

School Organization: Next Steps

• Download: Your Free Guide to School Organization
• Read: This School Year, Get It Together (and Keep It There)
• Listen: How to Start (and End) The School Year Organized

Susan C. Pinsky is a professional organizer specializing in ADHD. She is the author of Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD and The Fast and Furious 5 Step Organizing Solution(#CommissionsEarned).

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Hi HopelessMom:

It’s exhausting and frustrating to share tips and tools to help your child, only to be repeatedly rebuffed or shut down.

So, what is the right thing to do? How much should you push vs. back off? And can you really teach him the skills he needs to be successful? The short answer: Absolutely!

The long answer: Time-management challenges affect most teens — especially those with attention deficits and executive dysfunction. I’ve heard countless stories from parent-coaching clients and friends about their teens — tales of research papers written the night before they were due, struggles to get out the door in the morning, or consistently being late for activities — that, when examined closely, are all centered around time-management issues. And unfortunately, these issues — and parents’ efforts to address them — tend to create a very toxic environment in the household.

While this problem is ubiquitous, common ground can be found. Because though teens will insist, “It’s not a problem,” or “I’ve got everything under control,” or worse, “I don’t need your help,” very few teenagers enjoy all-nighters, last-minute scrambles, or constant arguments with their parents.

[Free Resource: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

Teens want to do well. And succeed. They just don’t always know how or want to do it their way. If we start with those understandings, we can get on the path to success. Together.

I’m often asked if all my student coaching clients are “success stories.” No, of course not. But many are. Here are the three important lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Lesson #1: Neither Helicopter Nor Hands-Off Parenting Is 100% Right

Parent involvement is critical to helping a student succeed. I don’t mean you need to turn into a helicopter parent and hover over your teen each minute. It also does not mean being completely hands-off and letting your teen figure out everything on their own. Granted, your degree of involvement will depend on your teen. But whether you’re offering support and guidance from the sidelines or providing scaffolding every step of the way, creating the proper nurturing, collaborative, and positive environment in which your teen can reinforce what they’ve learned is essential for them to master these skills.

Lesson #2: Time-Management Skills Take Practice

Time-management skills are not something to be taught once, mastered, and moved on from. They are LEARNED skills. To master a learned skill, one must PRACTICE. A lot. There is no magic elixir here; consistency is key. Trust me on this one.

[Self-Test: Does My Child Have ADHD?]

When my son was younger, I made every available opportunity and situation into a teaching moment. “Eli, if you need to be at play rehearsal at 5:15 p.m., what time do you need to leave the house?” “We’re leaving the house at 8 p.m. How much more time do you have to get ready?” And my favorite, “What’s your plan on studying for your math test on Friday when you don’t get home from play rehearsal on Thursday night until 9:30 p.m.?” And on it went.

Lesson #3: The Best Teacher Rarely Helicopters

Know when it’s time to bring in professionals.

Your teen needs to be on board and willing to work with you for any strategies to work. And, truthfully, parents aren’t always the best teachers for their children. Whether emotions get in the way or you don’t have the skill set to teach your teen, don’t be hard on yourself. An ADHD/student coach or executive functioning tutor may be the answer. How often have you said, “He won’t listen to me, but he’ll listen to his coach/teacher/tutor!” In my years of practice, even the students most resistant to their parents’ help came around. It just took time.

Don’t get discouraged. Trust yourself — and your son. Try different approaches until you find one that works. Learn together if he will let you. Just keep the lines of communication open. Remember, if it doesn’t work out, you can always bring in a professional. This is only the beginning.

Good Luck.

Helicopter Parent vs. Hands-off: Next Steps

• Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?
  
• Learn: How Not to Helicopter Parent Your Teen with ADHD
• Read: What Is Helicopter Parenting vs. Scaffolding?
• Read: 5 Ways to Manage Paper at Home

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Chore charts, when tackled consistently, may improve childhood executive function skills. The regular completion of family and self-care chores for kids was associated with gains in inhibition, planning, and working memory, according to a new study by researchers at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia, and published in Australian Occupational Therapy. ¹

The “successful attainment of these skills in early childhood is associated with later reading performance and mathematical ability and is a predictor of overall academic achievement in later childhood,” the researchers wrote.

The study examined the number of chores completed daily by 207 neurotypical and neurodivergent children between the ages of 5 and 13 in 2020, based on questionnaires filled out by their caregivers. The researchers found that kids’ engagement in routine chores predicted improved working memory and inhibition (the ability to think before acting).

The questionnaires measured completion rates for chores related to self-care, family care, and pet care. After controlling for age, gender, and disability, self-care and family care-related chores were found to significantly predict working memory and inhibition. No relationship was found between pet care chores and executive functioning skills, which was unexpected “based on research suggesting that animals act as a social support and can improve mood, which is associated with optimal cognitive functioning,” the researchers wrote.

“It is, however, possible that tasks such as pouring kibble or water into a bowl are not complex or challenging enough to aid in the development of executive functioning, compared with chores like cooking that require multiple steps.”

Cooking and gardening appear to be particularly beneficial to the development of executive function skills generally, according to available literature.^{2, 3, 4} In a study of older adults, computer-simulated cooking interventions improved executive functioning.² No research is available involving children, “but child-focused cooking and gardening programs have found improvements in children’s self-confidence, self-efficacy, and team building, suggesting such programs have transferrable benefits that may expand to executive functioning,” the researchers wrote.

Additional results from the study showed females and older children engaged in more chores than males and younger children. Gender distribution was relatively equal (52.2% were male children). Most parents reported that their child was completing the same number of chores as before the pandemic. Approximately 11% of children had a disability: autism spectrum disorder, dyslexia, and ADHD were the most commonly reported.

Sources

¹Tepper, D. L., Howell, T. J., & Bennett, P. C. (2022). Executive functions and household chores: Does engagement in chores predict children’s cognition? Australian Occupational Therapy Journal, 1– 14. https://doi.org/10.1111/1440-1630.12822
²Wang, M. Y., Chang, C. Y., & Su, S. Y. (2011). Whats cooking?—Cognitive training of executive function in the elderly. Frontiers in Psychology, 2(228), 1–11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2011.00228
³Davis, K. L., & Brann, L. S. (2017). Examining the benefits and barriers of instructional gardening programs to increase fruit and vegetable intake among preschool-age children. Journal of Environmental and Public Health, 2017(2506864), 1–7. https://doi.org/10.1155/2017/2506864
⁴Utter, J., Fay, A. P., & Denny, S. (2017). Child and youth cooking programs: More than good nutrition? Journal of Hunger & Environmental Nutrition, 12(4), 554–580. https://doi.org/10.1080/19320248.2015.11127