The ADHD Brain

Bullying Trauma & the Healing Power of the Brain

Research shows that bullying can harm a child’s brain. However, healing from bullying is possible. Use these trauma-informed practices with your neurodivergent child to improve resilience, understanding, safety, and stability.

By Jennifer Fraser, Ph.D. Verified Updated on August 14, 2024
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Children and teens with ADHD are more likely to be bullied at school than their neurotypical peers. Why? ADHD symptoms and behaviors — impulsivity, trouble reading social cues, low self-esteem, and executive functioning challenges — make children easy targets. And the repercussions are alarming: Brain scans show that all forms of bullying and abuse can cause visible damage to the brain.

Bullying is learned behavior. It results, in part, from living in a world that normalizes bullying. We see this every day in the way certain politicians speak and act, and the way some adults and children express themselves on social media. There is an unspoken belief that bullying gets results. The truth is: From neuroscientific, medical, neurobiological, and physiological points of view, bullying and abuse do nothing positive. They only put the health and performance of kids’ brains at risk.

Bullying Trauma

All forms of bullying — yelling, insulting, shaming, berating, and ignoring — hurt different regions of the brain.

  • Extensive research shows that bullying harms the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain involved in executive functioning skills, such as acting reasonably, thinking intentionally, weighing pros and cons, and considering consequences.
  • The amygdala, the brain’s threat detection system, may become enlarged as it becomes reactive and hypervigilant, constantly scanning for threats.
  • The hippocampus, the brain’s learning and memory center, may shrink as it bathes in cortisol, a stress hormone.
  • The corpus callosum, the bundle of fibers that connect the left and right brain hemispheres, may become demyelinated (losing myelin makes it harder for electrical signals to pass quickly and efficiently).

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If left untreated, the harm caused by bullying can lead to problems later in life, including substance abuse, anxiety, depression, aggression, conduct disorders, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and relationship issues. That’s the bad news. The good news is that our brains are wired to repair and recover.

The Healing Power of the Brain

From adolescence through early adulthood, neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to change, get stronger and healthier — is intensive. Teaching children to use breathing strategies, mindfulness, visualization, and co-regulation as ways to shift their reactions toward stability and balance is vital.

All of the following techniques are backed by extensive, peer-reviewed, replicated brain science.

Breathing

When we breathe in a shallow way, quickly, and from our shoulders, our brain believes we are under threat and prepares us to fight, flee, or freeze. We can calm our brains and bodies by breathing from the belly in a slow, rhythmic way. This is how we tell our brains not to worry, to be restful and present, and to feel safe.

[Download: Kid-Friendly Mindful Meditation Exercises]

Visualization

This approach works for the bully and the bullied. When children are frustrated or feel defeated, work with them to actively imagine a different outcome. For example, if a child feels the impulse to lash out and bully their peers, challenge them to imagine what it’s like to be hurt or humiliated. Relating to the victim, rather than threatening them to increase personal superiority and power, can help in lessening or eradicating bullying behavior.

Likewise, when a child is bullied, ask them to visualize what might be going on in the bully’s life that would cause them to be threatening. The goal is not to excuse the aggressive behavior; it’s to understand that each of us has a nervous system that can put us into fight, flight, or freeze mode as circumstances warrant. Then, have them practice body language that exudes confidence, like walking tall and holding their head high as they ignore and walk away from the bully. Also, tell them not to be afraid to seek out a trusted adult for help.

Co-regulation

Help a targeted child feel safe by adopting a loving facial expression, speaking with a gentle tone of voice, offering physical affection, sharing your experiences, and using a melodic speaking pattern. When we speak in a higher-pitched, sing-song voice, as many of us do when we talk to a baby or a pet, it calms the other person.

Those who are targets of bullying can also make their brains more resilient by doing the following:

  • Engaging in aerobic exercise
  • Eating a healthy diet and taking omega-3 supplements
  • Connecting with others
  • Getting nine hours of sleep each night
  • Spending time in nature

Each of these practices and self-care choices can improve the brain function of children and teens with and without ADHD.

Healing from Bullying Trauma: Next Steps

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