Ask the Experts

Q: “Are My Child’s Unresponsive Teachers Following Her IEP?”

“To improve communication with teachers, ask guided questions about how IEP accommodations are implemented and measured for progress and the best ways to support classroom goals at home.”

Leslie Josel
By Leslie Josel Verified Updated on October 17, 2023
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Q: “I am really frustrated. There is a huge disconnect between what’s in my daughter’s IEP and what’s happening in her classes. Some teachers follow it and communicate with me, but some don’t even respond when I email them. I don’t want to keep asking my daughter what is happening as it makes her anxious. How can I improve communication with her teachers?” — IEP Parent

Hi IEP Parent:

I appreciate how much you want to support your daughter. And the best way to do so is to ensure she gets the support she needs at school. However, as you’ve realized, getting the information you need can be frustrating and overwhelming and depends on good communication with her teachers.

It’s important to know what the modifications and accommodations from your daughter’s IEP look like, how they are being implemented and measured for progress, and how this information will be communicated to you.

I suggest sending each teacher a list of specific questions to gather this data. You want to know if your daughter is performing at grade level, what teaching methods are used in the classroom, and where they see any struggles.

I’ve put together a list of seven questions to help guide the discussion.

[Bring This Form to Your Parent-Teacher Meetings]

7 Questions to Improve Communication with Teachers

1. Have You Read My Child’s IEP or 504 Plan?

You don’t want to assume that your daughter’s teachers have a copy of her IEP or that they have read it. I recommend forwarding a copy of her IEP and a one-page summary detailing your daughter’s strengths and weaknesses to each of her teachers. Don’t forget to include her elective or special-area teachers in physical education, music, art, health, etc. Also, include your contact information, so the teachers will know the best way to get in touch with you. Then send a follow-up email to each teacher a week later to confirm that they received and read the report.

2. Can You Tell Me About Your Teaching Style?

Each individual instructor’s teaching style will differ. Finding out how they teach is critical to her success in the classroom. For example, if your child is a hands-on learner and her chemistry teacher is strictly an old-school lecturer, additional support and scaffolding may be necessary. In other words, you want to know what a typical class period looks like.

3. What Supports Are in Place for My Daughter, and How Are You Specifically Implementing Them?

Academic and behavioral support can be provided in many ways, so you need to get detailed here. What do the IEP accommodations and supports look like in each class? Are they a pull-out model (where a student is removed from class for support) or a push-in model (where support staff blends in with the rest of the class to offer support)? Is the teacher providing her with copies of the class notes? Supplying double desks? Applying homework modifications or offering directions in more than two modalities?

4. Does My Daughter Need Extra Help in Any Areas? If So, How Are You Working with Her to Address Them?

This is a softer way of asking what your daughter may be struggling with and what her teacher is doing to support her.

5. What Type of Progress Can I Expect to See?

It’s not enough for your daughter’s teachers to tell you what accommodations or modifications they are implementing. You also need to know what type of progress to expect and how it will look. Use the following questions to get clear answers.

  • What should healthy progress look like?
  • What are some key signs that we are moving in the right direction?
  • What should I watch out for at home?

[Free Checklist: 12 Parent Advocacy Secrets]

6. How Can I Communicate to You What Works Best for My Daughter at Home?

It’s crucial to give your daughter’s teachers a clear view of what is working at home. Maybe your daughter needs to doodle to focus or move around while learning. Perhaps she needs to listen to music while doing “desk work.”  These strategies need to be communicated to her teachers so they can possibly incorporate them into their classrooms.

7. How Can We Support Classroom Goals at Home?

For students to make the best progress possible, goals must be fluid between school and home. To that end, make sure there is a clear communication plan in place. How will you communicate with your student’s teacher? How will they communicate with you? How often? Do you want to know about specific criteria, milestones, or setbacks? The more specific you make your communication plan, the fewer things will be left to chance, and the most success your daughter will achieve!

Good luck!

Communication with Teachers: Next Steps

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

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