These strategies will help your teen tap into their “grit.”

Teachers and parents can take advantage of these strategies for training focus, combatting procrastination, and prioritizing effectively to achieve the success that drives future motivation.

When we create learning environments and activities that help students feel safe and confident, we reduce their chances of experiencing failure and increase their chance at success.

Does delayed executive function maturity make it hard for your child to achieve his goals? Here, tips for practice, patience, and perseverance for children and teenagers with ADHD.

Traditional carrots and sticks don’t motivate students with ADHD – that much is clear. But these strategies do.

Why do adults and children with ADHD or ADD have strong motivation and executive function for some tasks and never find the cognitive spark to do others? Learn more.

Learn about seven important executive function skills, their relationship to motivation, and how to improve each skill. Learn more.

Foster Friendships & Regulate Emotions

Required reading for any parent whose child has felt excluded — or whose child has excluded others.

Students with ADHD thrive in a positive classroom environment, and peer interactions and relationships play a big role in shaping that learning experience.

While your child has strengths, it is the weak executive functions — the management system of the brain — that affect their social skills.

ADHD can cause specific immature behaviors, causing kids to be an outcast amongst peers. Learn how praise and getting involved in activities can help.

How to help your child make friends (and keep them) this year. Learn more.

Teach your child how to deal with a bully and become an upstander for other neurodivergent kids with these strategies.

Children and teens with ADHD may lose friends because of deficits in social executive function skills – the underlying processes that are involved in social skills ranging from perspective-taking to reciprocity and cognitive flexibility. Learn how to help them.

Initiate & Complete Homework

Research suggests that the soundtrack to your child’s homework should comprise these 21 songs, proven to change the electromagnetic frequency of brain waves for optimal focus.

Learn ways to treat dysgraphia – a disability that impacts writing abilities – and to improve handwriting for a lifetime.

With these homework routines, teachers and parents can replace after-school tantrums with higher grades..

Hurdles with writing trace back to executive functioning — our brains’ ability to absorb, organize, and act on information. Learn more.

12 ADHD-friendly strategies for creating calm, avoiding burnout, and staying organized during homework time.

Spare your family drama and fights by following this homework system designed for children with ADHD and learning disabilities.

Kids with ADHD often struggle with homework, but each one struggles in a unique way. Here are specific solutions that really work for kids with ADHD.

Secure Accommodations & Self-Advocate

These academic and organizational tips are designed to help high school students with ADHD finish homework, execute long-term projects, manage their time, earn high grades, and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

“Daily report cards are among the most powerful evidence-based tools that educators have to encourage better behavior in students. A strong report card system has a few key elements that make or break its effectiveness.”

Know your rights if the school refuses to evaluate your student for learning differences.

8 straightforward steps — from requesting a school evaluation to monitoring accommodations — to help parents develop the best IEP or 504 Plan possible for kids with ADHD.

Learn how to help a student with ADHD understand and communicate their learning needs to teachers and parents.

Here are some of our favorite solutions for addressing common ADHD challenges at school.

Here are some of our favorite solutions for addressing common ADHD challenges at school.

Remember Not to Forget

A working memory deficit could explain his difficulty working out math problems in his head or with reading retention. Take this self-test.

Improve working memory in children with ADHD by using these 10 exercises that lighten the mental load by externalizing reminders.

Learn faster. Retain more. Perform better on tests. Yes, really. With these research-based techniques for studying with ADHD .

Educators must do more to support students with learning differences for whom working memory is an area of need. The following are a few strategies and pointers for educators.

Research shows that students with ADHD don’t need to study harder or longer to conquer exams — they just need to study differently. Here’s how.

Weak working memory impairs a child’s ability to follow multi-step directions, tap into old information, or quickly recall lessons. These 15 exercises and strategies can help.

Verbal and non-verbal working memory are two essential batteries powering what Dr. Russell Barkley calls your brain’s GPS system — the one that keeps you on track, on time, and in control. Learn how to keep them charged.

Build Self-Confidence at School

Responding to bad behavior with neurotypical parenting techniques is counterproductive because it ignores the root problem. Here is a better way.

When teens with ADHD feel less than adequate, parents should use these strategies to help them bolster their self confidence, make healthy choices, and develop a positive perspective on the future. Here’s how.

Daily challenges and corrections at school can demoralize a child and trample her confidence. How to end the cycle.

These ADHD teaching strategies will help all students — but especially those with ADD — learn to the best of their ability in any classroom. Get started.

No child with ADHD can succeed at school if he believes he is less smart or less capable than his peers. Here is a better way.

Many children with ADHD, battered by daily criticisms and admonitions, have low self-esteem as early as second grade. Make a powerful difference with these reframing strategies.

Chronic stress at school can make kids (particularly those with ADHD or LD) dread going — and change their brains for the worse. Learn more.

Organize & Manage Time

The most critical tool for building these executive functions? The right planner. Here it is.

Want to make sure that your child gets his homework done every night — and learns about planning and how to prioritize? Teach them to use a homework planner.

11 tips for cementing your family’s routine.

Here, learn how to use calendars and clocks to teach your child the value of strong priorities and to help him be on time more often.

Paper planners outperform digital ones for ADHD brains. Here is what makes a great planner.

Chaotic desk? Forgotten homework? Missed deadlines? Your child needs these ADHD organizing tips.

Reliable schedules for mornings, after school, and bedtime make a tremendous difference in setting expectations, building good habits, and improving ADD-related behavior. Learn more.

Resist Distractions and Focus

dopamine menu lists an assortment of pleasurable, healthy activities — from appetizers like yoga poses to main courses like a HIIT class to sides like white noise — from which ADHD brains can choose when they need stimulation. Learn more.

Research shows that physical activity — even a little foot-tapping or gum chewing — increases levels of the neurotransmitters in the brain that control focus and attention. Learn more.

“Procrastivity” is a self-defeating ADHD time-management habit can be helped by cognitive behavioral therapy approaches that teach patients how to prioritize tasks. Learn more here.

You can’t train away executive dysfunction. But you can more consistently get things done by creating systems in your life that support these brain processes. Get started here.

Soothing, effective fidgets for students with ADHD who focus best when they are chewing, squeezing, picking, or — yes — spinning. See our picks here.

Children with ADHD experience a lower level of brain arousal, which means they are easily distracted by internal and external stimuli. Use these school and home strategies to improve focus and comprehension.

For inconsistent focus, use these teacher-approved accommodations to put some real muscle behind his 504 Plan and put the attention back on learning. Get started.

Control Impulses and Behavior

Back-to-school supplies for students with ADHD — from erasable pens and highlighter tape to wiggle seat cushions, and more — that improve focus, organization, and classroom engagement. See the list.

Educators share their top tips for developing stronger executive function skills and independence in students with ADHD and learning differences here.

The Good Behavior Game is one of many classroom behavior interventions — backed by research — that inspires better behavior from students with and without ADHD. Here is how to play.

Is your child experiencing behavior problems at school? Use this step-by-step guide.

Time-outs and lectures won’t magically cure the impulsive tendencies of kids with ADHD. But these real-world tips for teachers and parents just might.

Lack of impulse control may be the most difficult ADHD symptom to change. Medication can help, but kids also need effective behavior management strategies in place — clear expectations, positive incentives, and predictable consequences — if they are to learn to regulate their behavior. Get started here.

Teach students to regulate their emotions with these ADHD strategies.

Forge Stronger Executive Functions

Executive function deficits may look like absentmindedness or forgetfulness. Learn more.

Learn about your child’s seven executive functions — and how to boost them.

“Executive dysfunction is ubiquitous in children with ADHD, which helps to explain why so many students with attention deficit are reprimanded for forgotten homework, disorganized projects, running out of time on tests, and more.” Learn more.

Martial arts help build self-control, discipline, and persistence. Learn how.

Symptoms of inattentive ADHD are often mistaken for apathy or laziness. Learn the truth.

ADHD intentions don’t always translate into action. Learn how to align them here.

90% of kids with ADHD have an executive function deficit. Learn how to strengthen executive functions here.

Click each image below to read detailed advice and strategies for the school year ahead.

What’s the secret to raising successful kids? The answer is simple and complex: seeing and supporting them fully.

When a child feels secure in their caregivers’ love and encouragement, strong self-confidence and self-esteem naturally follow suit. When a child’s ADHD is fully recognized and understood, that is when their strengths get unlocked and futures become clear. How do you get from here to there? One step at a time.

Step One: Learn Everything About ADHD

ADHD is like an iceberg. The complexities beneath its surface (including its high co-occurrence with other conditions) are seldom recognized and often criticized unfairly, leading many children with ADHD to develop damaging self-beliefs. They are not lazy or unmotivated or slow; they have a unique neurological footprint. Understanding and communicating that is key.

ADHD and Executive Function Deficits

ADHD impairs executive function — the brain skills we use to succeed in school, work, and other realms of life. You and your child must understand that deficits in executive skills makes it difficult to…

• …be on time
• …get started on tasks
• …juggle information in the mind
• …initiate work independently
• …set priorities
• …be organized
• …complete long-term projects
• …submit work on time
• …remain calm in stressful situations

ADHD and Delayed Maturity

Maturation of the ADHD brain lags about three to five years behind that of the non-ADHD brain.¹ The delay affects the brain’s prefrontal regions, which control the aforementioned executive functions and other important cognitive processes. What does this mean? You need to adjust your expectations about your middle schooler or high schooler in comparison to their peers. Developmentally, your 14-year-old’s “executive age” may be closer to 11 or 12 years old, for example. As is the case for many people with ADHD, your child might experience a maturation spurt in their early 20s as the brain continues to develop.

[Get This Free Download: Explaining the ADHD Iceberg to Teachers]

Learning Challenges

As many as 45% of children with ADHD have a learning difference like dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, or another condition that requires academic supports.²  It’s also common for students with ADHD to have learning challenges that affect written expression, memorization of facts, reading comprehension, complex multi-step math, and other areas. Be sure that your child understands how both their ADHD and learning differences show up in the classroom.

As you teach your child about ADHD, be sure to separate them from the condition. Depersonalize ADHD when you approach your child; educate and give your child a choice. Say something like “People with ADHD have trouble getting started, and I’ve noticed that sometimes that’s a challenge for you.”

Step Two: Establish Learning Habits for Ongoing Support

From disorganization to tardiness, the challenges that children and young teens face in middle and high school are essentially the same challenges that exist in college and at work. Identify your child’s unique learning and executive function challenges early on so that they can receive accommodations and practice using appropriate tools and compensatory strategies in school and beyond.

Bolster Executive Function Skills

For Help with Task Initiation

• Use timers, alerts, or verbal reminders to indicate that it’s time to start. Present these tools as choices to your child to increase compliance. Say, “Do you want to set a timer to start your homework or do you want me to remind you to get started?” Perhaps you may even have to sit with your child to help them get started.
• Review the instructions together. Have your child contact a classmate if the assignment is unclear.
• Start with physical activity. Some children focus better while moving, so let your child walk around and read if it helps with task initiation.
• Work in 10-20 minute chunks with breaks in between so that your child can reenergize their brain. This helps make the task feel less overwhelming.

[Read: Where Do I Start?!? How to Organize and Initiate a Big Project]

For Help with Time Awareness

• Externalize time. Use devices and tools like smartwatches, wrist devices, analog clocks, visual timers, smartphones, paper calendars, and white boards as appropriate to make time (an abstract concept) and important events (due dates, extracurriculars, etc.) stand out visually.
• Practice time estimation. Ask your child how long they think a task like homework will take them. Record their answer and compare it to the actual time to gauge and enhance their time awareness. Typically, students are surprised that the work takes less time than they predicted. Similarly, ask your child how long they think it takes to get to their first class of the day on time. Make sure your child accounts for things like getting ready, traffic, parking the car, walking to the building, going to their locker, saying hello to friends, and “oops” time.
• Schedule backwards. Make it a habit to start with the end in mind as a best planning practice. Scheduling backwards for a long-term school project, for example, will help your child see how far in advance they must start working.
• Ask others for help staying on task. Teachers, for example, can gently redirect your child if they get distracted. You can also ask a classmate to help keep your child on task with a signal.

To Enhance Working Memory and Help Your Child Remember

• Link new with old. Tie in new material to your child’s prior knowledge to reinforce learning.
• Information in multiple formats — posters, photos, video, hands-on projects, texts, graphic organizers, maps, and other mediums and tools — help to convey information.
• “Read to the clip.” Place a paper clip after every 8 to 10 pages of a long reading assignment, and have your child read until they get to the clip. This will segment the text and give your child time to digest information. Also, consider having your child write key text points on sticky notes as they read.
• Talk about it. The more your child talks about what they learned, the more likely they are to remember it.
• Use mnemonics. Set new information to the tune of your child’s favorite song, a rhyme, or an acronym. Humor helps jog memory, too.
• Short water and snack breaks give your child’s brain time to reenergize and reengage with information.
• Allow fidgeting or some movement to enhance concentration. The more difficult the task, the more movement required.

To Stay Organized

• A planner or organizer, whether digital or paper, is a must for all students.
• Color-code and use different folders for each class.
• Do a weekly bookbag cleanup together. Sort through papers and don’t throw out any documents until the end of the year, just in case they are needed.
• Keep a launch pad — a single place for your child’s bookbag, school supplies, and other must-haves — by the door. Place completed work and book bags on the launch pad the night before.
• Establish a homework routine. Agree on a start time and location. (Present them as choices to your child.) Double check assignments wherever they are posted (on paper, text, apps, the school’s online portal, etc.)
• Divide long-term projects into small segments to keep your child engaged. If possible, have the teacher assign due dates to the smaller segments and grade them.
• Monitor your child’s progress on homework and long-term projects for additional support.
• Ask the teacher for a sample of a completed long-term assignment for your child’s reference.

For Effective Studying

• Practice exams are great for previewing questions and concepts.
• Distributed study sessions will always be better than cramming. Your child should spend about 15 minutes reviewing for a test the night prior.
• Moderate exercise prior to studying can prime your child’s brain for maximum focus and retention.
• Slowly sipping a sugary drink can boost alertness as your child’s studies.

Step Three: Explore a Variety of Careers and Interests

Expose your child to as many careers as you can while they are in middle school and high school.

• Follow your child’s interests and skills. Seek lessons in music, acting, art, sports, robotics, gaming, and other activities they enjoy. You want your child to gravitate to a career that aligns with their best self.
• Match your teen to a summer job or a volunteer (shadow) position that aligns with their interests.
• Investigate the school’s career and college resources like career interest inventories/aptitude tests, career days, counseling services, transition plans, etc.

What to Do After High School? Don’t Fear the Gap Year

Many students with ADHD and learning differences rush into college without a clear path. As a result of this premature launch, they flounder and may ultimately drop out. A gap year can help your child plan out their future, increase their confidence, and seamlessly transition to a new, challenging environment. Most teens and young adults go to college within a year of the gap year experience, and colleges are eager to admit students with such experience.

If a gap year is the best option for your child, work together to create a structured gap year plan. Your child’s gap year may involve taking one community college or technical class, and working part-time or volunteering in a field of interest, for example. Ultimately, the goal is to help your child identify a career path.

Step Four: Prioritize a Positive Parent-Child Relationship

Experiencing success in school does wonders for a child, but grades don’t necessarily predict success in life. More often, happiness and wellbeing flow from a positive parent-child relationship.

• Protect and treasure your relationship with your child. Focus on the good and elevate your child’s strengths. Give yourself an attitude check-up if you are fixating on negatives.
• Manage your expectations. You will have to support your child longer than other caregivers, but it’s what your child needs. Give yourself permission to be involved and to do whatever it takes to help your child succeed. Be patient as you give your child the gift of time to help them become more and reach their full potential. By working together, you will get there.

What to Do After High School: Next Steps

• Free Download: 8 Ways to Strengthen Your Teen’s Executive Function Skills
• Read: How to Shepherd — Not Carry — Your Child Toward Fulfillment
• Read: The 4-Year College Track is Not Right for Everyone

The content for this article was derived, in part, from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “Getting Ready to Launch: Setting Up Middle and High School Students for Success and Independence” [Video Replay & Podcast #425],” with Chris Dendy, M.S., which was broadcast on October 13, 2022.

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Sources

¹ Shaw, P., Eckstrand, K., Sharp, W., Blumenthal, J., Lerch, J. P., Greenstein, D., Clasen, L., Evans, A., Giedd, J., & Rapoport, J. L. (2007). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is characterized by a delay in cortical maturation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 104(49), 19649–19654. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0707741104

² DuPaul, G. J., Gormley, M. J., & Laracy, S. D. (2013). Comorbidity of LD and ADHD: implications of DSM-5 for assessment and treatment. Journal of Learning Disabilities, 46(1), 43–51. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022219412464351

Ninth grade is a big leap for kids with ADHD, whose emotional maturity and executive functioning may lag a few years behind that of their neurotypical peers. Your teen will be navigating a new school (and the stress of finding classrooms), new teachers, new peers, and more advanced classwork while undergoing hormonal changes and new social dynamics. These pressures can exacerbate ADHD symptoms or reveal related difficulties.

6 Tips for 9^th Grade

Help your teen meet the new challenges of high school with the following tips:

[Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

1. Build skills. Identify your teen’s true emotional maturity. For example, does your 8th grader relate to others on a 5th-grade level? Consider what skills will be essential in high school and what you can do together to build them. For example, you might coach your teen on how to respond to teachers and role-play the interactions so he can practice using a respectful tone. Reflecting on situations your teen has navigated successfully in middle school also builds confidence. Offer reassurance and support.
2. Get organized. Buy school supplies early, if possible, and set up a desk or a quiet place in the home for your teen to do his schoolwork. Create a routine for organizing your teen’s backpack and notebooks. Get familiar with the school’s website and apps for viewing classes, assignments, events, and grades.
3. Review accommodations. You and your teen should review his IEP or 504 Plan before school begins to ensure he has appropriate accommodations. If these supports fall short, your teen should be prepared to advocate for himself.
4. Listen up. After a tiring day of holding it together in school, your teen’s anxiety may worsen when he gets home. Be calm and accepting. Ask open-ended questions to gain insight. Create an atmosphere where your teen feels heard and can safely express his fears and concerns.
5. Work on time management. Help your teen assess the time required to complete a project or assignment. Then use time-tracking apps that let your teen set time markers for each step of a task from beginning through completion.
6. Encourage study buddies. Study groups and tutors can help lighten your teen’s memory load. Peer support and mentor programs may also help teens with ADHD navigate the social dynamics at school. Is your teen interested in tennis or swimming? Joining a sports team and pairing up with an older student on that team can foster a feeling of belonging and support.

9th Grade Readiness: Next Steps

• Learn: 50 High School Accommodations for Every ADHD Challenge
• Read: Your High School Get-It-Together Guide
• Free Download: Boost Your Teen’s Executive Functions
• Watch: High School Success: How to Prepare for the Transition from Middle to High School
• Sign Up: ADDitude’s Free Parenting Class: Everything You Need to Know About Raising a Child with ADHD 

Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC, is the author of Why Will No One Play with Me?

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

When motivation wanes (or outright vanishes) in teens with ADHD, it happens for many reasons. Sometimes, years of criticism and corrections simply break the camel’s back. Often, the executive function demands of middle or high school exceed a child’s skill set. And clearly the onset of puberty — with its heightened moodiness, pre-menstrual symptoms, and social distractions — impacts nearly everyone.

Regardless of its trigger, depleted motivation tends to look and sound quite similar across teens with ADHD. In a recent ADDitude poll, we asked nearly 1,000 caregivers, “When your teen opts out of schoolwork or activities, which of the following are they most likely to say is the reason?” Here are the answers they gave:

• I forgot: 20.31%
• I’m too tired: 14.03%
• The teacher never told us about it: 11.56%
• It’s too hard: 11.52%
• I didn’t understand what the teacher wanted: 11.37%
• I ran out of time; I’m too busy: 10.54%
• What’s the point? I’ll never use this in life: 9.7%
• I’ll work harder/do better on the next one: 6.54%
• I’m already doing badly in this class: 4.32%

Comments and questions from survey respondents suggest that ADHD contributes to motivation problems in a few key areas:

Motivation Hurdle #1: ADHD Craving for Novelty

“Mine always says the schoolwork is too boring… what can I do about that response?”

“Our child won’t do the work if it’s too hard or too easy. Rewards or threats of taking away things don’t move the needle of motivation. Nothing works.”

Motivation Hurdle #2: Far-Off Rewards Don’t Work

“I find that consequences of taking things away have no effect on my teen (16 years old), and it will often cause him to get into a negative, cascading emotional state. It seems better to allow him to still do something he hasn’t earned while he’s fighting the battle to find the internal motivation to do what he needs to do.”

Motivation Hurdle #3: The ‘Why’ Is Missing from Schoolwork

“I actually agree with my teen’s ‘What’s the point’ point of view. The curriculum isn’t relevant to the things he needs to know to be successful in life, eg writing non-fiction & arguments well (instead of so much time analyzing literature), and managing finances (rather than advanced theoretical math). Yet there are no alternatives offered at school, and he ends up unable to concentrate in a boring class and feels like a failure (though eager to learn in relevant out-of-school interests!).”

Motivation Hurdle #4: Battered Self-Esteem

“How do you motivate a 15-year-old with ADHD/ODD to get back on track with school? He went from As & Bs his freshman year to failing almost every subject this year. And he’s also mildly gifted.”

Motivation Hurdle #5: Disrupted Routines Destroy Momentum

“How to help a recent high school graduate who used to have to get up for school and function during a full school day, that now can’t get up before noon, doesn’t have a job, and isn’t motivated to engage with the world. Without the structure of school he is floundering.”

To learn more about the common hurdles to motivation among teens with ADHD, and to hear expert solutions for overcoming those hurdles, listen to the ADDitude Expert Webinar “My Teen with ADHD Lacks All Motivation” by Maggie Sibley, Ph.D., which was broadcast live on November 9, 2022.

Motivation for Teens with ADHD: Next Steps

• Download: 4 Secrets to Motivating Students with ADHD
• Read: The Secret of ADHD Motivation, Solved
• Read: How Teachers Can Reach Unmotivated Students with ADHD

This course, featuring instructional videos from the world’s foremost experts in neurodivergent education, will guide parents and educators through a full syllabus of 51 webinar replays, 72 essential articles, 33 expert Q&As, 39 downloadable resources to share, 17 self-tests, 33 expert Q&As, 15 supplemental videos, and more.

Each lesson revolves around a common challenge for neurodivergent students:

• Learning Hurdle #1: ADHD Misinformation (How to educate educators on ADHD and recognize early signs of ADHD in the classroom)
• Learning Hurdle #2: ADHD Accommodations (How to advocate for your child, secure an effective IEP or 504 Plan, and ensure it’s being followed)
• Learning Hurdle #3: Distractibility and Inattention (How to help students hear and follow directions without losing focus or interest)
• Learning Hurdle #4: Weak Executive Functions (How to bolster executive function skills commonly impacted by ADHD, including working memory, prioritization, and time management)
• Learning Hurdle #5: Behavior Challenges (How to address and prevent the classroom behaviors that interfere with learning such as interrupting, hitting, and fidgeting)
• Learning Hurdle #6: Homework Problems (How to help students accurately log, prioritize, complete, and hand in assignments on time)
• Learning Hurdle #7: Learning Differences (How to best serve and teach students who have dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, auditory processing, dyspraxia, and other learning differences)
• Learning Hurdle #8: Social Struggles (How to teach social and emotional-regulation skills so that kids can make and keep friends more easily)
• Learning Hurdle #9: School Collaboration (How to facilitate and participate in parent-teacher-student cooperation and communication, particularly around accommodations)
• Learning Hurdle #10: Motivation and Resilience (How to build internal and external motivation to encourage resilience in students when they face school challenges)

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

For teens who have ADHD, leaping from middle school to high school, and from high school to college or to full-time employment, is an especially big transition. Research has shown that ADHD can delay a young person’s maturation and executive functioning skills by as much as three years, making big transitions trickier to navigate. Preparing your middle schooler for the new demands of high school, and setting up your high school student for life away from home, and the tasks required to maintain that independence, requires patience and effort.

In this webinar, parents and caregivers will learn:

• Approaches to foster smooth transitions into young adulthood for older teens
• Strategies to improve problem-solving skills and foster independent living
• Tactics to build and improve executive function skills that are appropriate for your child’s capabilities
• Goal-setting to improve your child’s self-reliance

Watch the Video Replay

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More on Teen Independence and ADHD

• Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?
• Read: Steps to Independence
• Read: “I Can Do It Myself!”

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on October 13, 2022, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker:

Chris Dendy, M.S., is recognized nationally and internationally as a leader in the ADHD field. She has written four books, including Teenagers with ADD, ADHD, and Executive Function Deficits (#CommissionsEarned), and her latest book, Launching into Young Adulthood with ADHD … Ready or Not! (#CommissionsEarned), which she co-authored with Ruth Hughes.

Chris also has intimate experience with ADHD. Her adult children, two sons and a daughter, have ADHD, as well as four of her grandchildren.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Webinar Sponsor

The sponsor of this ADDitude webinar is….

Equazen^® Pro is a clinically proven nutritional medical food, designed to help improve focus, attention, academic performance and balance mood for those with ADHD.^† In fact, clinical studies have shown Equazen^® Pro can improve ADHD symptoms in as little as 12 weeks. Now is the perfect time to start supporting your child’s mind and get them ready for back-to-school.

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

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It is not uncommon for students to feel embarrassed when they are pulled out of the classroom for any kind of learning difference (LD) or ADHD accommodations. No student wants to feel “exposed” for their neurodivergence. To avoid this, some kids deny the critical need for additional services or question whether the payoff is worth the emotional price of getting assistance. For either group, we suggest our WORD model for engaging kids in IEPs and 504 Plans.

Willingness

As parents, we spend a lot of time thinking about what our children want. Does any teen really want to go to school, much less a resource room? Most kids are willing to go to school because they have friends there, and they know there’s a higher purpose in learning. Willingness means tolerating painful feelings because you value what you can get from the experience.

On the Team

In my practice, we achieve high compliance, both in the use of medication and psychotherapy, because we tell teens at intake that they are not only on the team; they are the team leaders. If you don’t have a teen’s membership on the team, you don’t have buy-in or willingness, and you’re sunk. Likewise, we encourage teens to lead their IEP or 504 Plan meetings and, with adult support, to express their needs, critiques, and concerns. They should always be taken seriously.

Teens smell inauthenticity a mile away, so an invitation to lead the team must be genuine, even when it hurts the adults to relinquish control.

[Self-Test: Do I Have ADHD? The Ultimate Quiz for Teen Girls]

Reward vs. Risk

Perpetually assess the value added (or lost) by using LD or ADHD accommodations. If your teen uses the resource room for one grading period and it isn’t paying off, then change the plan. Using rewards to persuade your child to attend and participate in the IEP or 504 Plan can work well.

The most profitable thing I’ve ever done with my kids is pay them for behaviors I wanted to reinforce — and schoolwork is front and center in that plan. This is not “bribing” kids. It’s behavior modification, and it works if the reward outweighs any painful or uncomfortable downside so that the teen becomes willing.

Discretion

Inclusion room teachers are rarely trained in special education. Some are great at quietly supporting students who need to step out for services. Others are far from subtle, calling out, “Jordan, it’s time for your reading class!” If your teen reports the latter, talk with the teacher and include in the IEP that the dismissal will be done with minimal interruption. If a prompt is needed, a tap on the shoulder or a hand gesture would work.

Teens thrive when they understand and accept the value of IEP support services. For parents, it’s important to accept that, in the end, teens really are in charge of their own willingness and participation.

[Free Download: IEP vs. 504 Plan – What’s the Difference?]

ADHD Accommodations: Next Steps

• Read: 50 High School Accommodations for Every ADHD Challenge
• Free Download: Best Accommodations for Children with ADHD or LD
• Read: Is 16 Too Old for a 504 Plan or IEP for ADHD? 

Wes Crenshaw, Ph.D., co-author of ADD and Zombies: Fearless Medication Management for ADD and ADHD, and author of I Always Want to Be Where I’m Not: Successful Living with ADD and ADHD.

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Hi SeniorMom!

You are right. The senior year of high school is busy. Soon your daughter will be juggling homework, activities and clubs, a part-time job, college entrance exams, applications, campus visits, and so much more. You’re wise to use the less-hectic summer months to prepare. Anything you can get done before Fall — will help your daughter feel less overwhelmed and more organized as she begins the new school year.

Rising Senior in High School: Preparation Tips

Here are some of my favorite preparation tips for a rising senior in high school.

1. Use an Academic Planner. I can’t stress this enough. Whether she uses a paper planner or an electronic calendar, make sure it includes these two features:

• The layout of the planner should be set up as a grid system. Look for planners that have the days of the week going across the top and the subjects vertically down the left side. This specific format will allow her to see her week in its entirety, which is essential when planning time.
• This is one of my favorite tips! Suggest that your daughter includes a row underneath her listed subjects for “College.” (I tell my student coaching clients that applying to college and all the work that comes with it is equivalent to one of their school subjects.) So, she should tackle this row the same way. Instead of listing her homework and tests, this row will include her plan for essay writing, entrance exam studying, application due dates, and dates for college visits.

[Self-Test: Does My Child Have ADHD?]

2. Set Achievable Goals. We want your daughter to establish realistic plans for completing applications, essays, forms, etc. She is more likely to complete her tasks and feel less inundated if they are broken down into manageable parts. It’s much easier to write one paragraph for an essay in one afternoon than it is to complete the entire Common Application. After she breaks down her work into achievable tasks, have her check her planner for available pockets of time and schedule accordingly.

3. Free Time = Free Gifts. Yes! Free periods, study halls, or a random day off from school are all gifts! And if your daughter is lucky to have them, she should use them appropriately. I always encourage my students to use this uninterrupted time to dive into deep thinking work such as essay writing or studying for exams.

4. Organize the Environment. Summer is the perfect time to set up organizing systems for her bedroom, study area, or backpack. Sort through old homework, tests and papers, and discard anything she no longer needs or wants. Clear out backpacks, inventory school supplies and clothing, and begin making a list of what she needs for the fall. Having all these zones organized and prepped before school will help her focus. Plus, picking out new pens or notebooks is a fun way to get motivated.

5. Install an Organizational System for her college search. It’s easy to get bogged down by the college mailers, supplements, essays, recommendations, and tours that take over the life of a senior. Use a rolling file cart, milk crate, or desktop filing system, making everything easily accessible and visual. Create a file for each school where she can drop any school-specific brochures, supplements, or financial aid information. Include one general file, as well, to keep the things she’ll need for all applications, such as SAT/ACT confirmations and entrance tickets, and Common Application information.

[Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?]

6. Check It Off. Staple a checklist for each college that includes the school name, application due dates, requirements for references, essays, art portfolios, financial aid, etc., to the front of each folder. Then transfer all critical dates to her academic planner, so she stays on track. (We have a free downloadable, comprehensive checklist at orderoochaos.com.)

7. Do Your Best Work on Paper. Remember, there is no going back once you hit submit! Print out multiple copies of the Common Application and any supplements required by the colleges she is applying to. Tell your rising senior to answer all the college application questions FIRST on paper, and then type your answers into the online form. If writing isn’t her thing, type it up in a Google or Word Doc (create one for each college, plus one for her Common Application essay) first for easy editing. Bonus Tip! Be mindful of the word and character count. Some essays set a minimum or a maximum number of words; others count characters.

8. Evaluate Your College Visits. My daughter, Madelyn, a college graduate, offers this advice: “Create an evaluation sheet to use as a ‘brain dump’ after each visit. It will not only help you differentiate the information you receive from each information session and campus tour (virtual or in-person) but it will also make space for you to jot down any immediate reactions. Sit somewhere on campus to ‘brain dump’ immediately after the visit while your thoughts are still fresh in your head. This was incredibly helpful when organizing my notes so they would be useful when writing my  supplemental essays and ultimately came in handy when it came time to apply!”

Remember to bring a notebook and the school’s file folder for campus visits and informational sessions. Place any handouts you receive directly into your folder so nothing gets lost. You can quickly transfer the folder back into the file cabinet when you get home or once the appointment ends.

9. Check-In and Balance. I found it very tricky to balance my involvement while my two children completed the college application process. And I’m certainly not alone! My parent coaching clients are all looking for that magic answer: “How much is too much?” “How hands-off should I be?” “Aren’t the stakes too high to leave my child to handle all this independently?” I agree.

Applying to college is a master’s class in organizing materials, managing time, and processing information. Many high school seniors, especially those with attention deficits, plus organization and time-management challenges, need support and scaffolding to get through the process.

Here’s my best advice for senior year: Look at the college application process and everything that goes with it as two separate entities. First, there’s the actual “work” involved — studying for entrance exams, writing essays, etc. Then there’s the organization— filling out endless forms, gathering recommendations, and meeting deadlines. Looking at it from that perspective helped me determine where I was needed most. Did I write my children’s essays? No. They were more than capable of handling that job. However, did I meet with them several times a week to ensure they were on task, meeting deadlines, and not too stressed? You bet.

Those check-in meetings were vital for managing the pressure and making sure they never got too far behind. We started early, checked in often, and could switch gears (or essay topics!) if needed, making sure they felt scaffolded and supported.

Good Luck!

How to Prepare for Senior Year: Next Steps

• Learn: How to Prepare Your Teen for College, According to Research
• Read: How to Apply to College When You Have ADHD
• Free Download: Sample Routines for Morning and Night

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Telling us that “we can be anything we want if we put our minds to it” is akin to dropping us in the middle of the sea and telling us to swim to shore. Michael Phelps could be coaching our strokes, and we still wouldn’t know which direction to swim. Everything would appear the same shade of blue, and we would hyperfocus on the eerie feeling that a shark was lurking nearby, eyeballing us. We could become so confused, intimidated, and paralyzed with indecision that we’d most likely drown.

Parents, don’t despair! You can support your teenager with ADHD and help them figure out a promising profession. As a former teenager with ADHD, who also taught teens with ADHD, I’ve picked up a few lessons along the way for caregivers of adolescents with ADHD.

Career Counseling Tip #1: Love Us

Give your child with ADHD the time they don’t give themselves. Take a keen interest in your children and provide them with a lot of love, imagination, and patience — especially when they’re being annoying or bouncy.

Career Counseling Tip #2: Focus on Who We Are, Not What You Want Us to Be

Focus less on what you want your child to be and more on what job they could be happiest doing in 20 years. I have a friend with ADHD whose mother pushed her into a law career. My friend forced herself through law school and spent 20 years in a job she hated all because her mom saw “lawyer” as a mark of success.

[Read: Abandon Your Pre-Conceived Notions of ‘Success’ (and More Advice for Parents of Teens with ADHD)]

She resented her mom for pushing her down that path and, at 41 years old, finally told her. That’s a tough conversation to have with yourself — let alone your mom. Now, my friend works part-time and uses her extra hours to train herself on her actual interests and is much happier.

Career Counseling Tip #3: Don’t Ask Us What We Want to Be When We Grow Up

Many people with ADHD struggle to accurately imagine the path to long-term success. This is because we only see where we are now (point A) and where we want to be (point C). In the middle is B — a 10-year journey that’s icky and scary and confusing and too long for us to navigate. We keep trying to take the shortcuts from A to C, and then we get dejected when that fails. We need our parents to help us identify what we care about and then guide us down a B path that will stimulate those interests along the way to success.

To figure out the best point C, think about what frequently distracts us when we’re under pressure. How can that “distraction” become something constructive? How do your children make sense of the world when they’re anxious? If your child is distracted by video games, pay attention to the types of games they love and try to understand how they’re engaged in those games. These could translate to benefit their broader learning and career prospects.

Career Counseling Tip #4: Explain the Boring Bits

Children with ADHD need their parents to explain the harsh and dull realities of every dream career. What precisely does it mean when parents say a profession will “be tough” and “hard work?” We’re often more captivated by the prestigious image of ourselves in a near-fictional version than reality. Offer unbiased, recently researched specifics regarding the challenges your child will likely face in that profession; don’t be negative or dissuade them from pursuing their dream, but be honest and provide the accurate information they may have missed so they can weigh up the reality of that commitment.

[Self-Test: Could Your Child Have ADHD?]

(I wish I had received this advice years ago. It could have helped me have more stability, satisfaction, and direction in my professional and private life.)

Career Counseling Tip #5: Interest and Interaction Are Everything

I became a journalist and teacher because of the variety and creativity in my workload. I like adapting and persuading random strangers or overtly powerful people to talk to me about their remarkable experiences. Writing gets my head and the world around me in order, so these two interests align with my career.

My neurotypical ex-girlfriend became a highly successful surgeon because she “was a curious person obsessed with poking and investigating gross pimples, cuts, lumps, and orifices – and not the other way around.” She works seemingly every hour of the day because she cares deeply and has an unyielding fascination and satisfaction in her work.

Parenting Advice #6: Don’t Wait!

We are talented, intelligent, quick, energetic, and creative – undaunted cavaliers in the face of exciting challenges. Basically, there’s nothing we can’t learn as long as it is consistently engaging and interactive (if possible).

Kids with ADHD depend on the people they respect, and they assume these people have an omniscient understanding of who they really are and what’s the best direction for them. (We often don’t catch on that adults are as clueless as we are until it’s too late). Don’t wait! Discuss potential career paths as soon as possible.

Career Counseling: Next Steps

• Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement
• Read: ADHD How to Shepherd — Not Carry — Your Child to Fulfillment
• Learn: “What Should I Be When I Grow Up?”

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Hi FullhouseADHD,

As an academic and life coach for teens and college students with ADHD, I spend my days talking with high school students about their future plans. Truth be told, I never assume their plans after high school include college. Instead of asking, “What colleges are you thinking of attending?” I prefer to ask, “What are your plans for after graduation?” Plans is the operative word.

I don’t believe that college is for everyone. But I do believe in having a plan. A wise man once told me that experiencing life, working toward a goal, taking care of oneself, learning to problem solve, and becoming a critical thinker were all components of a well-rounded “education.” I absolutely agree.

[Read: You Don’t Have to Start College Right Away (Or At All!)]

Now I’m not saying that college can’t provide that. Quite the opposite. However, there are many other avenues to explore. Trade school, internships, military service, employment, travel, community service, and entrepreneurship can yield the same results.

It’s tempting to lecture our children about the importance of education. Remember, your son is only 11. He’s years away from making any long-term decisions. More importantly, he has many years of learning ahead of him. You mention that he hates school and is a reluctant learner. Let’s shift your energy and focus on figuring out what is getting in his way.

Does your son communicate the sources of his struggles to you? What do you notice when he’s doing homework? Have you discussed your concerns with your son’s teachers? Does your son have a 504 Plan or IEP? And, if so, are his accommodations being followed at school? If not, I would set up a meeting immediately with the school.

Here’s my advice: Put the college conversation on the back burner for the next few years. Instead, focus on ensuring that your son has the support and scaffolding he needs to be an avid and successful learner. Focus his learning on his natural interests and energy, and promote life skills over school skills.

[Free Guide to Securing ADHD Accommodations in College]

And, most importantly, understand that his future won’t be determined solely by this moment.

Good Luck!

Reluctant Learner with ADHD: Next Steps

• Learn: What Are My Teen’s Best Options After High School?
• Download: Easy Accommodations to Help Students with ADHD or LD
• Read: In Defense of the Nap Year

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

I tell my teens repeatedly: “The more you own your time, the more productive you will be — and the more time you will have for relaxing and socializing!”

Here are three strategies I use with my teen clients to help them get better about owning their time and increasing their productivity.

1. Be super clear about what needs to be done

When I ask my teens about homework, tests, projects, and other upcoming tasks, they often respond with hmms and ums. “Hmm, I’m not sure… I think I have a test this week.” Or “Um… I don’t know… I thought I turned in my homework.” These responses are all big red flags.

[Get This Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

When teens struggle with not knowing when tasks are due, at school or at home, that leaves them in a constant state of worry. All that time they spend ruminating on these tasks eventually leads to stress, anxiety, and shutting down. Not knowing is one of the biggest barriers to productivity.

To help my clients orient themselves, I ask questions that lead to concrete information:

• “What would it take for you to know?”
• “Who or what could help you answer this question?”
• “Does the school or class web page list your test dates?”
• “What are your responsibilities are at home?”
• “Tell me your intentions, and be realistic. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear.”

Facts have a way of stopping the worry and ruminating. When our language is factual, it provides an outlet for action.

2. Time yourself, undistracted

Teens today are bombarded with more distractions than ever before. The dings and pings and texts and DMs are nonstop. It has never been easier to escape a boring homework assignment – for hours at a time.

[Read: How Can I Help My Son Resist the Temptations of His Phone?]

Many of my clients admit to giving in to these distractions, but seldom have any idea how much time they lose to them. One of the most eye-opening self-awareness exercises I have my teens do is track how long it takes to do a task completely undisturbed (that means no multitasking whatsoever). I ask them to grab a timer, and simply log their start and finish times. Though it’s an extra step, they’re often shocked to see that, with non-stop focus, they could finish their math homework in half the usual time – and get to what they really want to do sooner.

3. Environment and movement are key

Where teens do their schoolwork is incredibly important, and can make all the difference in their motivation. I try to help my teens develop the mindset that school is work – and they might not do their best work if they’re in their pajamas and under the bed sheets.

But sitting still at a desk for hours at a time isn’t always motivating or sustainable, either. When energy levels dip and medication starts to wear off, it’s critical that teens get a dopamine fix. For many of my clients, that’s in the form of movement. Standing, stretching, walking, and other short bursts of movement are great for activating focus and resetting the mind.

Many of my clients also work well with light background noise (including a study playlist) as opposed to absolute silence.

It’s my responsibility to ensure the teens in my program understand what gets in the way of productivity. It’s a process that requires a shift in mindset, which takes lots of repetition and encouragement. Though it’s hard work, it all pays off when the end result is a more confident teen taking ownership of their time and energy.

Productivity Tips for Teens with ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?
• Read: How Can I Teach My Teen to “See” Time?
• Read: How ADHD Symptoms Manifest as Unique Challenges for Teens

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.