“ADHD Is Hard, But…” Crowdsourced Advice for the Newly Diagnosed
This ADHD Acceptance Month, ADDitude readers share life-changing lessons they’ve learned about how to live authentically, from practical hacks to profound shifts in perspective.
We hear a lot about the challenges that ADHD dumps on the backs of those who live with it, and how tough it is to bear the weight of these struggles sometimes. Seldom discussed are the strengths and abilities that ADHD brings — like being incredibly resourceful, resilient, and clever problem solvers.
So we asked ADDitude readers to put their creative ADHD brains to work by brainstorming the most important lessons they’ve learned about living well with ADHD. From the pragmatic — set your clock ahead by 10 minutes — to the profound — guidance on fostering self-compassion — readers offer up hard-won wisdom that they’ve found transformative, in the hopes you might benefit from it, too.
“Grace. Give yourself grace. The everyday mistakes you make can distract you from more important things. Know that doing right by the humans around you is far more important than having your laundry done or being all caught up at work.” —Kate, Texas
“It is essential to find a medical professional who you trust and who is an ally. Do not tolerate doctors who don’t listen to your symptoms or concerns.” —Suzanne, Canada
“Like a fingerprint, ADHD is different for each individual. We can learn from doctors’ opinions and others’ experiences, but we must discover for ourselves how to best deal with our own ADHD.” —Philip, Ohio
[Download: Rate Your ADHD Coping Strategies]
“Find your people! There is nothing that helps more than sitting in a room with a group of others saying, ‘Me too!’ You finally feel validated and less alone as well as understood and accepted.” —Nicky, Scotland
“Don’t resist medication if it will help. It’s not a character failing to take it. On the contrary, it shows your bravery in facing your condition.” —Richard, Maryland
“Actively search for things to celebrate in yourself and others. It’s natural to be critical but noticing what’s good takes intentionality. The fruit of that is peace and joy.” —Shari, Tennessee
[Watch: “ADHD is Awesome – The Holderness Family Guide to Thriving with ADHD”]
“Write everything down.” —Jennifer
“It’s imperative to learn all you can about how ADHD affects the brain, so you can better understand (and be less judgmental) about your thoughts and behaviors.” —Louis, California
“Find help — and don’t settle for the wrong help.” —Dorothy, Ohio
“Do what you need to do to recharge. I take a 15-minute nap at lunch everyday, which brings up my dopamine so that I’m still productive at work in the afternoons.” —An ADDitude Reader
“Find people who can relate to your struggles and, if you feel safe doing so, share stories of successes and failures. You may be pleasantly surprised by the number of people who feel the same way you do, regardless of whether they have ADHD.” —AJ, Minnesota
“Always divide tasks into very small turtle steps — something that you can easily do.” —Marietjie, South Africa
“The brilliance of ADHD is that our minds and talents can be a playground. ‘Not possible’ isn’t a thing if it is something we are interested in. Want to learn how to build furniture? Done. Make macarons? Done. Run a marathon? Got it. We absolutely thrive when we can chase the dopamine high associated with our areas of interest. I may be awful at adulting, but I wouldn’t want to live any other way.” —Suzanne, Tennessee
“The most important thing I’ve learned is to change my inner monologue of ‘I’m lazy’ to ‘This is just extra hard today.’” —Kendel, Indiana
“Finding what you love may be more important to ADHD people than to non-ADHD people. Being quick to boredom and having quick tempers means if you don’t like your job, you won’t be at it very long.” —Tim, North Carolina
“One trick that changed my world was the concept of a ‘catch-all’ area near the door where I put everything I need to leave the house; and where everything will go once I walk in the door. I have saved so much time over the years not constantly looking for my keys, sunglasses, and wallet.”—Dana, Michigan
“You have ADHD; you are not ADHD. It is an attribute you have but it does not have to define who you are.” —Craig, Oklahoma
“I set my clocks forward 10 minutes. Somehow it always tricks my mind and gives me extra time.” —Karen, Virginia
“I have learned that for every storm, there is a rainbow. My ‘problems’ — sensory gifts, ADHD daydreaming, and deep processing abilities — made me an excellent teacher of 38 years. I have learned to embrace my differences and view them as positives that have enriched my life.” —Jane, California
“Many judgmental people just can’t stand that I am hyperactive, talk a lot, and interrupt without meaning to — but judging others is far, far worse than any symptoms ADHD might cause. Try not to let anyone’s attitude make you feel bad about yourself. You are beautiful. You are valuable. You have been born with your own special talents and abilities that will help to advance mankind.” —Janet, Texas
Self Love, Self Acceptance & ADHD: Next Steps
- Read: You Are Not the Sum of Your ADHD Challenges
- Read: Self-Compassion – The New ADHD Treatment
- Read: ADHD at the Center – A Whole-Life, Whole-Person Condition
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