Q: “How Do I Avoid Oversharing on a First Date?”
“Whether it’s first dates or small talk with colleagues and acquaintances, set clear rules for yourself well ahead of time about what you will not discuss.”
Q: “How do I approach connecting with someone who is a virtual stranger? I’ll have to divulge some personal information on a date for sure, but how much is too much to share? And how do I save myself in the moment if I do end up talking about irrelevant or uncomfortable topics?”
Lead with Your Heart
Stick to talking about your passions. With an interest-based brain, you’ll be able to put your best foot forward — and see if you really zing with someone — when you focus on what excites you. If you’re into horror films, for example, share that with your date and see how they respond. You may learn that horror isn’t their thing, but true crime podcasts are. (And that’s how the conversation keeps going and stays somewhat on track.)
LIVE WEBINAR ON NOV. 7: CONSCIOUS DATING WITH ADHD
Register for this free webinar and get an opportunity to ask your questions about dating. Plus, get the replay link to share.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Whether regarding first dates or small talk with colleagues and acquaintances, set clear rules for yourself about what you will and will not discuss. Consider these topics off limits:
- body fluids and functions
- odor and hygiene
- sexual history
- money
- medical history
- traumatic events and family histories
[Get This Free Download: Become a Small-Talk Superstar]
Devise Handy Summarizing Scripts
If you know that you’re prone to divulging too much information on a sensitive topic, like your rocky relationship with your parents, come up with a few phrases that satisfactorily capture the situation, like “I have difficult parents” or “I come from a challenging family.” These phrases say a lot, minus the details, which you’ll have a chance to share with your date if you do grow closer to them.
Bring It Back with a Laugh
Humor is fantastic for pivoting conversations when you realize you’re oversharing. Say, “Wow, I have had a lot of coffee today!” or “I definitely went down the rabbit hole there. Can we go back to what you were talking about?”
How to Not Overshare: Next Steps
- Get the eBook! The ADHD Relationship Guide
- Read: “5 Things I Learned from First Dates”
- Read: Dating Advice & Strategies for Adults with ADHD
The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “Oversharing and Underinvesting: The Social Traps That Snare ADHD Adults” [Video Replay & Podcast #496] with Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC, which was broadcast on March 14, 2024.
SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
